1. I’m no longer grossed out by the food scraps at the bottom of the sink.
2. I can eat a snack I don’t want to share better than a CIA agent keeping a secret.
3. After touching poop, pee, puke and other nasties I do actually believe what my mom always said: “hands are washable.”
4. Multi-tasking has become a necessary art form. Just try and ask your husband to change a diaper while on the phone or keep a toddler entertained while making dinner (without turning on the TV).
5. Thomas is blue and so is Gordon. Percy and Henry are green. James is red…
6. Dressing up means wearing a white shirt.
7. Going to the bathroom with the door closed is a special treat.
8. I put my hands in my coat and find: a paci, a red, hot wheels car, a pair of mittens and a fruit strip wrapper.
9. My rear view mirror is often angled towards the car seat, not the rear window. I know this would irritate many a drivers ed teacher.
10. My kisses now have healing powers.
11. I actually listen to the song lyrics on the radio and have become overprotective when it comes to what my child hears.
12. I’ve researched every sleep training method…at three in the morning.
13. I would consider planning a vacation to Disney World before I’d consider planning one to Paris (albeit a bit begrudgingly).
14. There is no longer such thing as an impromptu date night with the hubs, unless of course it’s a Red Box movie and ice cream.
15. My heart no longer resides in my body but rather belongs to the most amazing two-year-old boy.
How do you know that you’re a mom?